I am trying the daily prompt for
I am in a dilemma here as I do not like to “categorize” my family. The truth is… I have a lot of things going on that make mine a modern day picture. Divorced mom, bad custody issues…. angry teenagers, I work too much and never have enough money. I do not have a good support structure as they all abandon me when I divorced my husband (they were all his family).
My picture has broken glass all through it, but there is happiness in there too. I recently decided not to pursue a relationship so that I could focus on more of what structure my kids need. My sacrifice is small for what I hope they can gain. What I knew to be family growing up does not exist for my kids. That was a hard concept for me to swallow…. they will never know the solid- safe – environment of home that I did. They have two separate lives… one with me and one with their dad. Is this harder on me or them? Not sure…
How will I ever fix the fragments? I tried the co-parent thing. The ex just uses the kids against me. Instead of sharing info– he takes what I give and plans to destroy whatever safe haven I create. so for me, separation is best — but that leaves the kids in that “two lives” place each day. I didn’t want them to choose, but when I saw my sons being manipulated to choose their father it made me panic. I pulled back to give them space to have the happiness they can find in the middle- no pressure. How do I watch them choose him and his lies? Modern family is torn for me– broken– sad and full of choices. All I ever wanted was for them to be safe and happy. I will continue to strive for this, as well as work as hard as I can to create a career out of nothing in my 40’s, while putting on a smile every day to assure them that I am confident of myself and their love even on the days they break my heart by believing his lies.
modern Family- could be about Technology-Crucial Conversations with your kids – Balancing Career and Family- but for me it’s the twist of what I see now… after the Picture I created and cherished was smashed on the tile of Broken Dreams.